A Blog By Sam

Wally and I left the Al Ain pirated video shop in search of batteries for our cameras that we’d received as a promotion from Hardee’s. Man Hardee’s was good. You could make burgers just how you liked ‘em. I swear mum put mushrooms in hers once. Mum had strange tastes.

So there we are walking about Al Ain. I felt a little unsafe. Maybe it was all hoo haa but we certainly did have bars on our windows at home and mum had a few dodgy dealings with an Arab bloke or too. Anyway we’re walking about and I’m trying to avoid the spit all over the footpath because Muslims can’t swallow their spit you see. Maybe it has something to do with their fasting – dunno.

So we’re walking around and then all of sudden this bloke in a dishdasha comes up to us. Not unusual cos every bloke is in a dishdasha. But this bloke comes up and says, “What are you looking for?” We say we’re looking for batteries. He says, “I have batteries. Follow me.”. So the two of us follow this guy through a load of people and down some alleyway. We come upon like a factory and head inside. By this stage I was starting to think something may be up. The guy says to us, “I have batteries upstairs but only one of you can come up.” The guy walks on ahead up the stairs. I volunteer Wally. “Wally you go!” I say. Wally says in his American accent, “Oh ok. But if there’s trouble I’ll scream out and you come help me.” I assure him, “Yeah Wally. What ever you say.”. So Wally heads on up.

About a minute later I hear Wally yelling, “Help, help, Sam, Sam!”. I run like the clappers – straight out of the warehouse. Once I hit the safety of people I get a pang of guilt. That was really pretty dog of me. Suddenly I see Wally running out from the alley. Relieved I rush over to him. “What happened?!” I asked. “Well”, he says, “Well the guy lifted up his dishdasha and held out a 10 dirham note. I pushed the guy and I ran!”. “Man Wally! That was an easy 10 dirhams!”

Bounced out of bed for the final day of diving. Fair few came out on the boat for day dives. Did a few skills underwater including a CESA ascent where you rapidly superman up from depth saying “Ahhhhhhhh!”. Things are coming together for me now underwater too. Buoyancy is a big one – being able to neither sink nor float but remain stationary in the water (neutrally buoyant). Saw a huge stingray! Also starting to know what bits are what by feel on my suit. Am now an accredited PADI diver!

Had lunch afterwards with the Maple Syrup guy (Wayne). Interesting bloke. Of Chinese descent, grew up in South Africa, and migrated with his family to Canada some years ago. He travelled all over Canada and the US doing interior design for a furniture chain. Then he got fed up with it and now wants to focus on photography.

Was pretty tired so had a snooze in the afternoon. Later I headed into the enormous timezone arcade. I got annoyed pretty quickly because they’ve decreased all the timers on the car games and the gun games don’t allow you to shoot in some areas of the screen. Started going a bit mental because of all the lights and sirens so gave some kid my game card. Think I made 2010 for him.

Afterwards caught the film The Lady with the Dragon Tattoo at the Arts Centre there. Geez it’s dark and violent in places. Found myself being glad when particular scenes ended. Bit predicable I guess but all in all a pretty good movie.

The next day (today) I went to Currumban wildlife sanctuary. That place put me on edge. All the paths were punctuated by huge spiders suspended in webs that looked like they were made from canvas. I swear I walked past one and heard, “Oi! Got a cigarette?”. Also I was constantly worried some frenzied escaped animal would emerge from the brush and maul me. Now I’ve got an image of some Tommy Lee Jones style Eco Ranger who chases the escaped Tree Kangaroo down a sewer pipe. The sewer pipe leads to a waterfall and the ranger and the roo have a stand off. Silent roo’s subtitles: “I didn’t kill my wife”. Roo jumps from the pipe into the waterfall. Ranger shrugs.

There was a free flight bird show at Currumban though which was amazing! Pelicans, eagles, owls and a variety of other birds would fly from stage left/right to a mic’ed up trainer on queue! Then fly low over the audience to a second trainer up the back. Man I didn’t know they could train birds like that. Was awesome.

Now waiting at the airport for my flight back to Melbs. Has been an eventful trip. I’m glad I did it. Now back to reality and the new job!

Another early start for diving.  Met a new bloke doing the same cert as me – a Canadian.  I made a joke about maple syrup and he didn’t much care for it (the joke not he maple syrup – hell they drink the stuff from thermoses).  We made our way out to the dive site and did two dives.  I’d bought a waterproof camera for posterity and my instructor showed me how to dislodge algae from rocks and hand feed the fish.  Was a little cautious having unidentified fish munching so close to my fingers.  It was however a unique experience and I feel lucky to have had it.  Did the diving exam in the afternoon and produced decent results.  Maple Syrup sat it with me and also did well.

After diving my instructor dropped me at Sea World.  It was pretty cheesy but I still enjoyed it.  All the captive marine life is cool.  The sharks, stingrays, absurdly large fish.  Far and away though the dolphins stole the show.  I stood by one of the pools and two dolphins surfaced right by me.  I swear I made eye contact with one.  You can see the intelligence, the awareness in their eyes.  It was as though I was the one in captivity and they were casually passing by and exclaiming, “look at the curious one with the camera.”  There was also a pirate show that was entertaining if not historically accurate (I don’t think pirates had jet skis).

Ate Thai for dinner and had a lovely conversation with the restaurant manager.  A Thai lady named Pie.  She said in Thailand when you have personal problems you can always talk to a monk.  Do we have an equivalent here in Australia – in our Western nation?  A friend pointed out that’s what friends are for but there’s some things that require anonymity.  Those public resources that are available have a stigma attached  - like you’re weak if you need to see a psychologist.  Some aspects of our culture are just plain wrong.

Got up early for the diving pick up. There were several Ibis’, out the front of the hostel, attacking garbage with their long formidable looking beaks. I always think of dinosaurs when I look at birds. We picked up a Korean couple on the way and after a little banter the Korean fellow confessed to me that he couldn’t swim – despite the fact he was doing a 1 day dive. Not too sure how dangerous that actually is given you have an inflatable vest (BCD) for controlling your buoyancy however I thought it was pretty funny all the same. From the urgency in his voice I can only assume he wanted me to teach him to swim on the drive over.

Upon arrival at the dive school, a floating office at the end of a pier a la Water World, I met my instructor Jason and was informed I was being taught solo. Pretty awesome to get that much exclusive teaching. After some preliminary instructions we locked&loaded and set out on the boat with a few others who were destined for various water oriented activities (read snorkelling).

We geared up and did a big-step entry into the drink (read a big flippered step off the boat – I want to do the navy seal backwards drop so hopefully we get a chance to do that) and paddled our way to the shore. There we learnt all the survival skills like Q. “What to do if you run out of air”. A. “Immediately scream thus expending all the air you have in your lungs and then make large windmill swipes with your arms, endangering the lives of all those around you, in an attempt to dislodge someone’s regulator so that you may use it for yourself. Or something – I zoned out.”. After all the skills were learnt we did a bit of a free swim. Was amazed at all the marine life I saw so close to the shore. A little stingray, an eel hiding in an old barnacled pipe, a cat fish, and various other schools of fish. When you’re in a fish’s world they’re less likely to be afraid of you (unless you come at them with a wedge of lemon). They let you swim through their schools – it’s really an amazing experience. I’ve always held since the last time I did it that it’s the closest thing to flying you’re likely to experience and that was certainly true this time around as well.

We were finished by midday and I got dropped back in town. Went to the Hardrock Cafe for lunch. Man they’ve got some pretty cool memorabilia on the walls there. Signed stuff by the Ramones, a Soundgarden set list, Gwen Stefani’s bra, a kick drum skin signed and punctured by Silverchair’s drummer’s head. Later I had a medical because it’s needed for the diving cert. Basically I got charged $60 to reaffirm that I had the requisite faculties for breathing. What a wrought (no you can’t bulk bill it because it’s a recreational activity – breathing).  Afterwards I was getting some passport photos done and was getting along well with the shop chick. She was playing with her hair a lot which I consider a sign that she’s interested. Though it was breezy. Whilst the photos were being developed I considered asking her out upon my return. Never happened. Felt like a fat Nicholas Cage from Adaptation. Damn you Charlie Kaufman for making public my frailties. Though the knowledge that they’re not uniquely mine is strangely reassuring.

Tired now. Should study. Kip then study. Then a muffin.  Banana – that’s a good muffin.

Jetstar flight was without issue.  Though fell asleep at the departure gate and later woke myself with my own snoring to find I’d been overrun by passengers.

First impressions of Surfers Paradise.  Humid as hell!  Who stays in the myriad of hotels?  Who stays at The Myriad?  More a hedonistic paradise than for the surfers.  Plenty of gentlemen’s clubs, casinos, and kebabs to keep even the most debaucherous stag party satisfied.

Hostel is good.  The Sleepers Inn or something.  I’m sharing a detached apartment with a few others.  Shared kitchen and lounge but I’ve got my own decent sized room.  There is a ceiling fan but it has no blades so is less useful for circulating the moisture laden air (still spins though which I find amusing).  There is however a portable fan which does a much better job than its overseeing cousin.

Arrived late so most restaurants were closed.  Managed to find a Korean restaurant.  Red meat appeared almost exclusively on the menu.  There was even raw mince meat on rice if you were feeling adventurous.  I was not.  Had some marinated beef thing.  Was delicious!

Day 1 of diving tomorrow.  Early pick up by the dive school.  Sleep.

Spent the last few days in a dodgy hotel in Cartagena.  The wifi is healthy though so all is good.  Cartagena is on Columbia’s north western coast.  The temperature here sits at a sweaty 30 degrees on average.  I ventured out every now and then for water and various weird and wonderful food.  Been nursing an infected toe.  Got sorted with some antibioticos today so all should be good.  Cartagena’s Old Town is walled like a fort.  Inside it’s all boganvillia lined cobbled streets and colonial buildings.  Got talking to some old Columbian tourist guide who ended up SELLING me a local rag that confessed to being free inside the first page.  I’d only bought the thing because it had a map on the back and I was looking for the Palacio de la Inquisicion.  Turned out it was literally behind me but my new friend only told me that after.

Making my way to Santa Marta tomorrow as that’s where the Lost City (Ciudad Perdida) tour leaves from.

Bogota takes your breath away.  Literally as it’s 2640m above sea level on a plateau in the Andes mountains.  It’s very easy to get puffed out walking about when you’re that high.

What I liked about Bogota:

• It’s untouched by the Western ideal because the country doesn’t have the money to support it. A blessing as it permits them to retain a strong cultural identity.
• How contented the people are. Very few signs of aggression towards one another. Each person pays the other the utmost respect. People stand very close to talk. Couples stare intently into each other’s eyes when one speaks.
• The coffee is crazy good.
• The children are the cutest little things I’ve ever seen. Reminds me of cabbage patch kids (though if I checked their bums for a signature I might get in trouble!).
• The Bogota people have a real penchant for history. For example I wandered into a street market and saw a bloke with one of those old box cameras taking photos of customer’s existing colour photos so to produce a dated black and white copy. Global corporates would obliterate this love for old things in favour of their forward looking “progress” mantra.
• Every working person regardless of their status, i.e. the man selling watermelon or lotto tickets on the street up to the sheik suited Columbian business man, look to take a real pride in their work.

Hauled up in a hotel in Copacabana last night.  It was the safest area I could think of.  Essentially slept the whole day and stayed up all night as I had to take a taxi to the airport at 4am.  Man the taxi ride was dangerous.  Apparently early in the morning cars don’t stop at red lights!  As we got close to the airport I noticed my taxi driver had his eyes closed!  We’d already ascertained that we didn’t understand each other so I just said “Hey!” and tried to talk about the Carnivale.  Stuck in an airport in Peru for 8 hrs or so now.  Bring on Columbia!

Was feeling a bit better today and ready to do some stuff. Took the street car up to Santa Marta which is an area with lovely cobbled streets up on a hill that overlooks Rio. It’s the artisan quarter apparently (they always pick the nicest spots!). Sat and stared in a nice little cafe hidden away up a steep stone staircase. Took some photos (none of them worthy of upload). After making my way back down the hill I took the metro over to Ipanema where I had an amazing vegetarian buffet lunch. Later took a walk down to the beach for a snooze and to watch the Ipanema waves come crashing in. Took the metro back to Lapa where the hostel is situated. Considered taking a taxi from the station but decided to risk the walk. Was very aware of everyone around me and at one stage thought I was being followed. The muggings have left me feeling paranoid to say the least. Considering staying somewhere else tomorrow night just because Lapa is so bloody dangerous at night and I have to get up around 4am to take a taxi to the airport. Don’t want to feel this paranoid and want to really appreciate the happy Cariocas (Rio people) for their obvious lust for life and not be hung up on a select few who are morally corrupt.

Just had a shower and forgot my towel so dried myself with my money belt (not the first time that money belt has saved my skin!).

Letter to a friend:

It was a marathon trip to get here. Think at least 30 hours or something. This taxi driver named Evan was on me like glue as soon as I stepped off the plane in Rio. I finally talked him down to a reasonable-ish price and we drove to Lapa. The problem was that just about EVERY road was closed because of carnival so he started to get really cut and kept saying he was just going to drop me with my bags and I’d have to walk it. This kinda freaked me out cos there were SO many people about and I had no idea where I was (and with my infamous sense of direction I doubt I’d ever find the hostel). He kicked me out a few times but then kept changing his mind (probably cos he knew it was dangerous) and eventually we got close enough and he even walked me to my hostel. So it was like midnight and I had a quick shower and went out into Carnival. It was pretty amazing. So many people all so happy and dancing to latin music. I ended up getting pretty drunk and was walking back to the hostel when some bloke stopped me. He was speaking in Portuguese so I just gave him a cigarette. He took the cigarette but pulled a knife and pushed it hard against my stomach. I pulled a random note from my pocket and handed to him. Then he yelled at me and put his hand in my pocket and took all the cash I had in there. Don’t think he got much – maybe 15AUD or something.

The next day I woke about 3pm cos I was so jet lagged. Then I made my way over to Copacabana beach and snoozed on the sand. There were these car floats playing this kinda latin euro trash which everyone was enjoying. I walked most of the beach stopping a few times for some bad food choices (lunch was this terrible bean soup in a beer glass and dinner was a cheese burger which was a big patty but basically just a really thick one of those frozen ones you can get (I feel sick just thinking about it)). Stupidly I ran out of money in Copacabana around 11pm or something so all the cash machines were closed. Finally I found one and took a taxi back to Lapa where my hostel was. The party was big again because it was the last night so I showered at the hostel and went out again. There was a stage down the rd a bit so I went to listen to the samba. Just in front of me this dude nearly got his camera pick pocketed by a little black kid. Stupidly I didn’t move. A few minutes later these two black dudes came up to me and one of them put his arm on my shoulder. He held his cigarette close to my face and through gritted teeth said, “Money! Give us money!” I looked to a couple of bystanders for help but they just looked on in shock. Like last time I gave him a note from my pocket. This time all my cash bar about $1AUD was in that money belt you gave me which was right down around my groin. He felt around in my pocket and could found only a packet of cigarettes which he took. Then he felt around my back and couldnt feel anything. I started to walk off and he called after me but I was too far away for him to give chase. Feeling violated and quite shaken up I walked back towards the hostel. I saw a cop standing by his car so bought some more cigarettes and sat in front of him and smoked. Can’t believe I copped it two nights running! When I got back to the hostel I told the girl who worked there and she said she’d been mugged too only she was physically assaulted so I guess I got off easy.

Dunno. I don’t feel too bad today. Going to go checkout Cristo Redentor (the big Jesus with outstretched arms that watches over Rio). I wonder if he saw me getting mugged?

The hostel is a real party hostel and I don’t like it much. To make things worse the cost of the hostel was 4 times what was sold to me on hostelworld cos of Carnival! I slept late yesterday too so got stung both nights. It’s back to about 15AUD tonight though cos Carnival is finished.

Looking forward to Columbia. The language barrier is quite severe here.